Black Sheep

“Have you ever sat with your friends and just known that you’re the least important friend in the group and you felt like it wouldn’t make a difference if you were there or not…” ~ Unknown

There’s no worst feeling then being the black sheep. Feeling left out. Feeling like you don’t belong. Feeling like everyone is having the time of their life and you are just awkwardly standing there hoping that no one feels the self-tension. It feels as though I am getting this feeling more and more; not as excited for things, not as eager to talk, and not as motived to socialize with others.

images (1)

Is it because I am different? Is it because others don’t seem to understand me? Maybe it’s just because I have this itching feeling inside of me that feels like I have nothing to offer or contribute to society. I feel so disconnected from the world today. A society that’s definition of spending time together is being on their phones until their thumbs hurt or someone cares enough to look up. A society that’s definition of music and movies is the more sexual or captivating the better. A society that excludes those that are different or unlike the others. Is this the society we want to be a part of? Sadly, I am a part of the society. But the real question is, why are we okay with this? I don’t understand. The worst part of it all is feeling like there’s nothing we could do to change this..


No Apologies

“Make no apologies for who you are

Make no apologies for what you love

Make no apologies for WHO you fall in love with

Make no apologies for how you express yourself

Make no apologies for what you dream

Make no apologies for being yourself

Because at the end of the day, nobody is going to apologize to you for your unhappiness.” ~ Nidia Rodriguez

This seems so simple to say, but yet so difficult to act on. We are taught to apologize. Our guardians teach us at such a young age to apologize to others when we do something wrong. But does it mean to be WRONG? As I was doing some online reading, I came across “No apologizes” as a title for a post and the post spoke about people’s guilty pleasures. If i want to eat endless amounts of chocolate cookies, I’m not guilty of that, I JUST WANT TO EAT A CHOCOLATE COOKIE. I do not feel the need to apologize for that and I’m certainly very guilty of eating it because I just did (lol). Who said eating a chocolate cookie was wrong? Who? My mother? My mind that is scream “BEACH SEASON!”? Because the only thing I’m thinking right now is “Yum, this cookie tastes amazing.” I am not apologizing for eating a cookie, just like I’m not apologizing for being who I am. I could name numerous factors about myself that others might not like or disagree with, but you know what, I could careless. I’ve learned that no one is going to be there apologizing to you. Do what makes you happy. Express yourself the way you want to. Love who you want to love. And make no apology. But most importantly, be who you want to be.*